JESUS IN ZOGAM(Manipur context)-A satire

By-Kikim pa

Dan Brown writes another book. This time, it is not about some medieval painting of a gentleman called da vin ci. He claimed to dig out some irrefutable evidence that Jesus passed through Zogam on his way to Calvary, carrying a Cross. The story was kept secret for 2000 years due to the conspiracy of the Church, claimed Mr Brown. The book is still at draft stage only.
Extract of a page of the book that deals with the experience of Jesus in Zogam villages is hereby reproduced exclusively.

….As the procession progressed with Jesus carrying Cross on his shoulder, they started passing through Zogam .....

.....and reached the village of Gangtes on the way. When Gangtes saw the unfortunate fellow carrying a cross on his shoulder and a crown of thorns on his head , as usual , they cracked very funny jokes about Jesus. Every one laughed heartily and had a good time at the expense of Jesus. To be an under-dog in the midst of Gangtes was like rubbing salt in the wound. The experience was not memorable but impossible to forget.

Any way, the strange procession was progressing forward
......and reached the village of Thadou-Kukis. Like sharks, they were instantly drawn by the smell of blood. They felt that some conflict was going on without them. That was enough insult for a Kuki. A Kuki could not live in peace in absence of war and bloodshed(sic). “Live gruesome, end gruesome” exhorted the head of the house solemnly in family devotions.

Without knowing the issue or who was against whom , they started shouting “ na chapa gap, na don thi” . They came out guns blazing and started shooting discriminately. They were very angry but they them self didn’t know why they were so angry or to whom. Unhelpfully, nobody cared to tell them why they were so angry. At last, they calmed down in confusion but left a trail of dead bodies and destruction.

As they had not reached Calvary, Roman soldiers prodded them to proceed further on and
......then came to the village of the Paites. When Paites saw that bloody fellow, they asked each other “ eimi hia?” Some one informed them that he spoke in Galilian dialect. Then he was “namdang”, they said. For a Paite, to speak in a dialect different from his, not to say a different language was enough qualification to be called a “namdang”. A Paite didn’t care at all anyone he called “namdang”. For him, a good namdang is a dead namdang.

In 33 AD , Paites had a grotesque sense of “eimi” or “namdang”. “ Eimi” for a Paite would voted for PNC supported candidates in certain MLA constituencies , spoke some particular dialects and even preferably a member of EBC church. Anyone else was namdang and an enemy or potential enemy to look with trepidation. He had no use for blood relation, cultural, ethnic and language affinities. They were closed community with ghetto mentality and believed that the whole world perpetually conspired against them.

At last, they reached a Vaiphei village. Vaipheis simply ignored the procession. They were not interested. If that fellow had a problem, it was his problem. Or someone else should solved the problem, they said in unison. At that point of time , a Vaiphei would not take any responsibility whatsoever. “Let others do it” was his motto and driving force in life. Luckily, they didn’t have to moved their stiff fingers.

Then , Jesus and party went on
and reached the outskirt of a Hmar village. The smell of Hmar sa-um , sweat and blood of Jesus brew a peculiar cocktail. Jesus and party faced a little cultural shock here as the staple diet in the village was propaganda. They lived here in an Orwellian world where the difference between truth and false was done away with innovatively. “Truth is false, false is truth. Truth-false, false – truth”, chanted their children in Sunday schools. The most popular sport in the village was “Hunting with the hound and running with the hare”. If you cared to peeped in their key holes, you would find a lot of “gogs and magogs” in their hearths and homes invited to kill bed bugs.
The villagers started claiming credit even though they were not yet sure what was happening. As soon as Jesus and party stepped on the soil of the village, the villagers started spreading hundreds of contradicting rumours concerning the event. Everyone claimed to know more about it than his neighbour and told each other about what they didn’t know anything.
Some of their stories were so convincing that even the Roman soldiers slightly believed them!

DISCLAIMER

This is supposed to be a joke. So, you may laugh or cry or get mad about it.

It is hereby absolutely and severely proclaimed that this write-up is not inspired. Hence, if reading this article cause to any one, an unintended and undesirable side-effect like becoming born- again or filling with any spirit that come from above or below or even from a bottle, the author should be congratulated without fail and without unnecessary delay.

The above reported incidents happened 2000 years back. So it may not correspondent with present day Zogam ground reality. The motive of above presentation is not pretended to be a noble one but it is given with mala fide intent and malice to one and all and to cause maximum damage. If it rubs any one in a wrong way, it will serve my purpose well in my humble way.

Hahahahaha!!!!!